Well first of all since it's been a few weeks since my last post I will update a thing or two. First of all, despite my relatively OK start, I began to both A) despise every second of my job, when every ten minutes felt like a sould-destroying hour and B) fail epically at my job despite trying harder than anyone else (as far as I can tell). After feeling so horrible about it I took three days off (all nine hour shifts) I wandered into a New Year's Eve party at my friend Josh's house and was briefly interrogated by colleague Ben, before being lightly hassled by his girlfriend Jaz, about not going in. There was mention of it being ridiculous that I would decide that I was doing shit and just quit, talk of the amount of money I lost, and a short attempt to try and convince me I'd actually been doing really well which seems a bit odd since there's a table with people listed in order of performance that I was at the bottom of all the time :/. Ah well, I've made some money off it and I definitely don't want to be hired after my contract expires now, so no worries I don't suppose. It did throw my mood off a bit though, because I'd been feeling a bit ashamed about A) failing B) buckling under pressure and C) lying about being ill to avoid going in as it was.
It wasn't much helped by the fact that also when I came in Anya was in her bra - I understand that it's more an issue of me being a bit weird with what affects me, but yeah. I really despise nakedness at parties and stuff, and Anya having taken off her top heavily implied that people had already started playing a game involving taking off clothes and this was going to be one of those nights. I am also bestowed with the great curse of ULTIMATE JEALOUSY and INSANE OVER-PROTECTIVENESS. I try and control such things, but I'm a bit shit at it.
People then picked up on that and decided to troll me for a while too, and when Dan saw I was getting slightly upset by it he immediately sighed and just said "Stan, don't". Fair enough really, since I have been known to spoil things by getting inconveniently upset, but that again did not help.
And all that's rather a shame really, since I actually arrived at the party in very high spirits, though my good mood was quite precarious as it was based on a very particular way of viewing the events previous to the party. I had gotten my band a gig through one of my Mum's friends, that was as far as I was aware at some private party. It turns out said party was a 60th birthday party, but since we had been invited by the birthday girl herself I thought it'd all be fine. We got set up, just our little instrumental trio, looking out over a room of over 60s and small children. We had no mics or anything, so I just shouted as loud as I could "HI, OVER HERE! EVERYONE! WE'RE TELEPATHETIC!" and we burst into our song 'Don Tiramisu'. Basically, we cleared out about half the pub with our first song, and there was some guy giving me an incredibly evil look the entire time. As we played our next two, most of the rest of the pub went too, and I felt obliged to shout "CLEARING OUT THIS PUB TONIGHT IS... TELEPATHETIC!"
As we neared the end of our fourth song, the new 60 year old walked into the room and briefly clapped before saying "Yeah! Great! We're just putting on a disc now". So, to summarise: we played a tiny gig in the middle of nowhere that ate into our NYE party time and got a ton of hate before being kicked off stage less than a third of the way through our set. I could not stop laughing. Neither could Mikey or Dave. And here's the thing: we actually played well. We didn't fuck up, we stayed tight and solid, we had a ton of energy and they hated it. There was something incredibly pleasing, somehow liberating about that. Of course, it could also be viewed in a more basic way as the biggest failure of a gig I've ever been even remotely linked to.
But yeah, then I kinda ruined everyone's evening by being a bit quiet and mopey all the time (the alcohol probably didn't help). Must learn to not do that.
That said, the evening did kind of pick up a bit later, when a massive fake wrestle started shortly followed by some odd dancing. I have videos of both on my phone. They are brilliant. I got my New Year's kiss from Anya and all that jazz, which was nice - she decided against dodging me :D
Oh god, I haven't written about Christmas. I'll write about it in the simplest way possible to avoid taking up loads of space. PRESENTS BOUGHT: Teapot and cookie jar in cupcake design (Mum), Darksiders and Ninety-Nine Nights for Xbox (Billy - little brother on Mum's side), The Expendables on DVD (Dad), facepacks and stuff or whatever (Clare - Stepmum), tea set painting kit and bouncy ball making kit (Dolly - elder of two younger sisters on my Dad's side), big pink teddy thing (Vernie - younger of two younger sisters on my Dad's side), 720pHD webcam and Fable II + Dragon Age: Origins for Xbox (Anya). I also apparently chipped in for a rare Orange Juice CD for Paul, my soon to be Stepdad. I intend to buy my friends belated presents.
PRESENTS RECEIVED: portable Pignose amp, beard trimmer, some nice scotch, some nice cheese, a
book on Captain Beefheart, some DVDs, some CDs, some t-shirts, a jumper, some money, etc. CBA to properly list. Either way, I'm very pleased with this year. Anya stayed with me at my Mum's house for breakfast and drinks and stuff, and that was much japes and a half.
As to other recent goings on in life, a PvP roleplay conducted over facebook (but in a similar style to a narrative tabletop, kinda) has taken my friend group by storm. The setting is a little drab, but the whole concept is brilliant - we all have the potential to be the Eidolon, this great Jesus-like figure, but we have to kill our competitors first. We started off not knowing anything about each other, and had to kind of weedle information out of each other to get anywhere with it. All our characters seem to have very different abilities, and it's become a very interesting game in which I'm always very eager to hear what happens next. I would say some of the interesting things I'm trying to do, but competitors have access to this livejournal ;)
Also, I've done fuck all BIMM work over the holidays. This means I am likely to either fail or get a shit mark when my group finally manages to set up a live music event somewhere. YAY.
I would do a review of the year or something, but my memory fails me and I don't have a whole lot to say about this year. I'll just close with some resolutions:
1. As with the last few years, I'd like to gain some motivation in life. I'd like to use my time, finish the projects I start and actually do something with my year so I have stuff to say next year. I've not been progressing on the bass, I've not been making my roleplay system, I've not been making mead, I've not been doing excercise or yoga or MMA, I've not been doing my BIMM work, etc etc etc. You get the idea.
2. I would like to try to be more creative and actually practise what I preach with music. At the moment I'm not sure I'm really cutting it.
3. I'd like to be happy about who I am, and find reasons for that that I actually care about.
...or are 2 and 3 just filler? Anyway, sorry for the rather lengthy post. A belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Stuff that I felt like ranting about on the internet for whatever reason.
- New Year and the like.